How To Quit and Not Ruin Your Reputation
“I can’t make it.”
“I have to bail.”
“Unfortunately I won’t be able to continue with this project.”
As an Artist who’s worked primarily in theatre and live performance, I feel like I have seen more than my fair share of cancellations, drop outs and no shows.
First, I want to state the disclaimer that of course, things happen and you will have to walk away from an artistic project or two or nine over the course of your artistic journey. Of course. One of the most heartbreaking ones I experienced was when the lead actor of a play I was producing lost his father the day before our first rehearsal. In fact, it happened in the middle of the night and I woke up to his email saying that, of course, he needed to drop out of the show. Awful. Just awful.
However. Although dropping out of of a project is usually fraught with awkwardness and disappointment, there IS a better and best way to do so that will preserve your reputation, or at least, mitigate the damage.
Because the truth of it is, once you bail on a project, the people facilitating that project are unlikely to want to trust you again with another opportunity in the future. Unless they are convinced that it was unavoidable and that you are unbelievably heartbroken that you had to let them down.
How does one do that? I’ll tell you.
First, before you send that email or make that phone call, make peace with the fact that this project is a JOB and treat it as such.
But Marion what if we’re not getting paid?
Doesn’t matter. You didn’t get paid to go to elementary school, yet you knew you had to show up. At that point, it was your job. And when you’re looking to build your portfolio you’re going to do a lot of projects for free. That’s your job.
Two hours before a show I had put together, I got a text from one of the performers to say that they’d had a fight with their significant other the night before and they were ‘too sad to sing’.
Too sad to sing.
That particular scenario happened many years ago now, but I can still feel my disbelief in that moment in my body’s memory.
And although I sympathize and empathize with bad break ups and emotional upheaval, as an artist it’s your JOB to create art in the face of adversity … particularly when it’s only two hours until curtain.
You made a commitment to a project and it’s your JOB to see it through.
If you decide to walk away, make sure you APOLOGIZE for the ENTIRE scenario.
I’ve received hundreds of ‘I’m sorry I can’t do it’ apologies. Where the Artist is sorry they can’t be a part of it, or sorry that they’re letting me down. But I can count on one hand the number of apologies I received for what it means for the entire scenario.
For example, if you were committed to sing with a quartet, you would apologize for letting down the other three singers and for the stress you have caused by forcing them to replace you at the last minute. Not ‘oh gee I’m sad I won’t get to sing with you guys.’
Apologize for the stress you’ve caused. For the time the people involved are going to have to spend sorting out your absence with replacements or reconfiguring the project. For the fact that they can no longer just focus on the success of the artistry of the project and have to expend valuable energy dealing with changes caused by your absence.
Apologize for the ENTIRE scenario.
And then, make sure your excuse is IRON CLAD.
One of my favourite last minute cancellation attempts was when I was aware of a local high school production and that their legendary cast party was happening a week after their show had closed. The weekend of the legendary cast party, I had performances of a concert I’d put together. So when one of the cast members who had been in that high school production ‘felt too sick’ to show up for a performance of my show … the same evening as the legendary cast party … well, let’s just say I had no qualms about calling this performer’s mother.
Social media has made this particular point so important. Don’t tell someone you can’t participate in their show because you’re going through intensely sad events … but then post happy selfies with your friends and family and live videos of you playing games. Yes, that actually happened.
Whatever excuse you choose or need to use, make it iron clad. Make sure everything ‘visible’ about your life supports that excuse because my oh my, you can’t earn that broken trust back.
Make sure whatever you communicate as your reason for leaving is IRON CLAD and fully supported by all visible aspects of your life.
There’s not a single arts leader I know who doesn’t have a blacklist - a list of artists they no longer trust because they backed out at the last minute of a project and didn’t handle it well.
Please don’t get yourself on one of those lists. You owe it to yourself, your talent and the people giving you the opportunity to showcase that talent, to stay committed to the project or quit in such a way that you’ll be forgiven. Eventually.
I’m Marion Abbott and I have truly seen it all when it comes to artists quitting projects.